Divorce Mediation: Is there a Downside?

Andy Flink is an experienced divorce mediator with One Mediation.

Recently, I asked several family law attorneys and judges in the Atlanta area their thoughts on both the positive and negative aspects of mediation.  The answers I received were interesting and decidedly positive.  Mediation was considered to be the best alternative in divorce cases, especially when there are minor children involved.

Mediation was, however, deemed to be a negative in those rare cases where either one side conducted themselves in an unreasonable and unnecessary manner or when one side appeared at a session completely unprepared.  In these instances, the majority of attorneys I spoke with still believed there was some small measure of progress, even if it was acquiring the knowledge that settling was going to be more problematic.    Judges that I spoke with also promoted mediation.  They would prefer the family make the life-altering decisions amongst themselves rather than be put in the position to make them for people they knew very little about.

These illustrations do not include cases where abuse, violence or significant power imbalances are present, which are considered to be cases that are inappropriate for mediation.  As well, there will certainly be cases that present themselves as those that will never settle in mediation and will require litigation.

Many of these attorneys and judges also believed that a positive and productive reason to mediate was to simply create the scenario where everyone had to be in the same place at the same time.  Trying to schedule five or more people to meet together was daunting in itself; being forced to meet was actually a good thing:  This initial mediation session might be the first time attorneys meet each other in person.  Everyone also agreed that by settling the case sooner through mediation the parties, especially those with children, could move past the conflict and concentrate on parenting.   The financial benefits to the parties were also significant if the case settled sooner – as one attorney told his client in a case where I was the mediator:  “If you settle now you’ll be able to send your kids to college, if you want to drag this on, we certainly can, but you’ll end up sending my kids to college.”

In mediation, I have one goal in mind:  to settle, perhaps with a full settlement, or sometimes with a partial or temporary one.  Regardless of what the parties or counsel say to me about how difficult or impossible the case is, or how meeting will be a “significant waste of time,” I’ll consistently look for and hopefully find the “wrinkle” that gets the parties moving forward.  This is especially satisfying when at the end of a session we’ve reached agreement and counsel explains that they “never thought this case would settle.”  I am always glad if it did – but even if it didn’t, I believe it’s always worth an attempt.  I may feel that the session wasn’t productive but, like most of you who I work with, my consensus is the same:  there is very little downside to what can result in a potentially worthwhile outcome for everyone involved.

Andy Flink is a successful businessman, mediator, and father in a blended family.  Email Andy with questions or comments.  

Atlanta – April thru June 2012 Divorce Education Resources – Metro-Atlanta

There is so much information on the internet about divorce and the divorce process that it can actually be more confusing than helpful.   Why isn’t there some sort of “Divorce School” or “Divorce Tutor”???  Actually, there is…but sometimes they are hard to find in the midst of all the noise.

Here’s a quick listing of some Atlanta Divorce seminars and more:

April 21, 2012Divorce 101 (9 a.m. – 4 p.m./Perimeter/$89) – Women Only

April 21, 2012 - Collaborative Divorce Seminar (9:30-11 a.m./Smyrna) – Co-Ed

April 28, 2012Speed-Divorcing – (10 a.m. – 2 p.m./Perimeter/$47)  - Co-Ed (limited to 10 participants)

May 5, 2012How to Mediate Your Divorce – (9 a.m. – Noon/Buckhead/$50) – Co-Ed

June 15-17, 2012Divorce Survival School Weekend - (Overnight/Payment Plans Available) – Women Only

Parenting Seminars (which satisfy certain court requirements) – Newnan/Carrollton Area, Douglas & Nearby CountiesCobb County, Fulton County, DeKalb County, Gwinnett County.   Dates vary and are held frequently each month.  Usually $30 – Keep Your Certificate of Completion!

Divorce Consulting/Mediation Coaches.  These divorce mediators help individuals facing divorce get ready for mediation, answer questions about the process, prepare and prioritize for negotiations and working out solutions, and sort through ideas on “how to make it work” during the changes of separation and divorce:  JoAnne Donner, Andy Flink, and Jennifer Keaton.

Local Certified Divorce Financial Analysts and Financial Neutrals.  These individuals help get your financial records in order, uploaded, and analyzed with an eye to division, taxes, budgets and more:  Lisa Decker, Anitha Rao.

Workplace Investigations: How Much Inquiry’s Necessary?

 

When an employee raises a concern about workplace misconduct – even when it may not directly involve him or her – good employers will conduct some kind of follow-up on the concern.  This “initial review” often is a preliminary discussion to get enough information to make some assessment as to how significant the problem could be – is it a pervasive issue, is it an interpersonal issue between only two individuals, can any of the concerns be corroborated by minimally invasive measures such as an email search.  

In some instances, this initial review may become the totality of the investigation because nothing further was needed.  On other instances, the initial review may be the tip of the iceberg and serve as a means to understand and clarify the issues sufficiently to turn over to an investigator.  

The rub for employers is when the initial review is the investigation, but this review is insufficient to address the concerns that were raised.  When the investigation is a cursory and incomplete review, the drawbacks, to name just a handful, involve:

  • the strong potential for employee perception that complaints “go nowhere”
  • the image that the employer does not take concerns seriously
  • the perception that complaints will not result in any real concern or change on the part of management
  • a lack of motivation for employees to raise future concerns because the belief that it is a futile proposition and
  • the risk of increased liability for torts and other claims that may exist that relate to the concern

Human Resources professionals can combat these longer-term, negative issues by articulating and following a clearly defined process with respect to addressing employee concerns in a manner that is commensurate with the concerns.  Notably, the fact that some follow-up has been done – even if results of the inquiry are not shared – should always be communicated back to the employee who raised the concern.  Acknowledgement that these employees have been heard and action occurred, as a result, is often overlooked and leads to unfortunate consequences with respect to morale.

 

Speed-Divorcing: In Atlanta April 28, 2012

Attention:  Those thinking about or in the early stages of divorce and wrestling with overwhelm, anxiety or uncertainty about where to begin or what comes next…

Would you like to step out of the fog and receive clarity and answers for your burning questions in a fast, efficient and money-saving manner?

If so, You are in the Right Place! 

You are invited to join us for …

Speed Divorcing!

Hosted by Divorce Money Matters®

Your place to get answers and make connections with caring, respected professionals who will help you get the answers you need and the guidance you deserve…FAST! 

When: Saturday, April 28, 2012 – 10:00 am – 2:00 pm

Click below for more information and registration:

http://speeddivorcing.eventbrite.com/

Mediators from One Mediation will be in attendance.

Divorce Expo – Novel Concept, Big Dividends for Information Gathering

Recently, the people of Detroit had the opportunity to attend a Divorce Expo.   While this type of expo does not share the same zip of the Bridal Expos, Fashion Expos, etc., it arguably has a much more important impact, particularly for families in crisis and transition.

Indeed, learning just a little about so many aspects of the divorce process – the legal, the emotional, the financial, the children’s issues, and more – in one location over a dedicated period of time could be a critical step in many families avoiding missteps and losing critical opportunities.  In Atlanta, the closest 2012 events to this Divorce Expo include Visions Anew Institute’s April 21st “Divorce 101” Seminar  (this seminar is women only – men at a later date) or Divorce Money Matters’ April 23rd “Speed-Divorcing” Event.  Both are low-cost, high impact – tell a friend.

 

Jennifer Keaton to Speak at Professional Development Seminar

Jennifer Keaton, a member of One Mediation’s panel of neutrals, has been invited to speak on negotiation on April 19, 2012 at the State Bar of Georgia.  For more information, click here.

Internal Complaints….The Lids Fly Off When!!

A 37 Page Complaint…recently, a major agency received this written complaint from a high ranking official in the organization that blasted an even higher ranking official.  Politically motivated?  Do-gooder doing the right thing?  Someone who’d “had it up to here”?

Too often, employers dismiss internal complaints rather than move them into a credible investigative process because they are too concerned with what may appear (and may actually be) questionable motives in raising the concern rather than focusing on “clearing the air” to determine if a problem exists.

Employers should have an investigative process in place before a need to investigate internal concerns arise.  Some employers utilize “hot lines,” while others have “open door policies” and harassment policies with a stated complaint process.  These options often suffice, but employers who have been through contentious litigation regarding the workplace usually can point to opportunities that they wished they’d offered to hear about the concern before hearing it from opposing counsel, a governmental agency, or through a court pleading.

Interested in learning about options for your workplace?  Contact One Mediation regarding its internal dispute resolution programs, E-Resolved hotline options, and more.  Simple solutions at work!

 

Guest Blogger: Special Considerations for Small Business Owners Facing Divorce

If You Are A Small Business Owner Facing Divorce, Get Specialized Help

By Jimmy E. White, Esq.

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Jimmy White advises small business owners who also trust him in Family Law matters.

 They are in the news every month – the celebrity or business owner going through an excruciating divorce that threatens to wipe out their life’s work.  I was reading an article recently about Frank and Jaimie McCourt. Frank (and arguably Jaimie) was the owner of the L.A. Dodgers until the divorce closed the door.  Ms. McCourt fought her husband tooth and nail for half ownership of the team.  When it was over, Jaimie agreed to surrender the bankrupt team to Frank in exchange for a promise of about $130 million. 

What has that got to do with you?  Maybe more than you want to know.  It is a great example of the risks of going through a divorce that involves a family business.  While most of us don’t have a gazillion dollars to fight over, many of us own small businesses.  Often one or both spouses work in the business, and when the divorce comes along, sorting out the pieces is a nightmare.  And that is just between the two spouses!

It is common for two or more individuals to own and run a business together.  One owner gets divorced and the other owners suddenly find themselves in a bad place.  Business records may be scrutinized in the divorce by experts for the parties and by the court.  The non-owner will often claim an interest in the business and may even try exerting some control over the business.  Can you imagine the heartburn?

There is no way to be completely certain to avoid such headaches, but there are precautions that may provide the business owner some security and may minimize the turmoil.  Prenuptial agreements setting out the rights of the spouses in the event of a divorce are great if done properly.  They can specify how any business interest will be treated in the event of divorce – up to and including exclusion of the business from the marital assets. 

A buy-sell agreement between owners is also critical to minimize the uncertainty associated with the divorce of any owner, since it establishes rights vis-à-vis the owners of the company.  Such agreements determine what happens if one of the owners dies or leaves the company.  I’ve heard them referred to as prenuptial agreements between the owners.

If you are unsure of where your business stands, or you own a small business and are facing (or are in the midst of) a divorce, you need to consult with counsel who are experienced not only in the field of family law, but in the field of business law and contracts as well.  If you find yourself in such a situation, give us a call.  We can help.

15 Steps to Help Employers Move through the Interactive, Accommodation Process

Reblogged from CEB Blog - Your Partner In Practice:

Click to visit the original post

Disability discrimination is among the most complicated areas in employment law today. One of the reasons for all this complication is because the laws require that employers and employees engage in an interactive process. The interactive process can be a daunting endeavor for employers. Here’s a 15-step approach to take employers through this process.

Read more… 918 more words

ADA Issues in the Workplace: Steps to Help Disabled Employees Succeed

Three Divorce Trends In The Post-2008 World

Interesting article on divorce in this down-economy that tags three trends in divorce.  Unsurprisingly, mediation is one of these trends…click here for the other two.

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